Planning a wedding is both exciting and stressful. Wedding planning can really put a strain on relationships. How can you plan a wedding and avoid the strain that weddings put on relationships, especially when you are trying to do things on a budget? These four tips will help you and your partner get through the planning and avoid relationship stress.
1. Set Clear Discussion Boundaries From The Get Go
Wedding planning can easily become all-consuming, but it does not have to. Talking non-stop with your partner about “wedding things” is the biggest stressor for relationships. One of the ways couples are able to reign in the wedding pressure and keep the planning from affecting their relationship is by setting boundaries for when they will talk about “wedding stuff”.
Treat your wedding planning like a business meeting. Calendar the talks and have talking points ready to discuss. Then, when the meeting is over, go back to life and don’t bring it up again. Stick to the negotiations and when a compromise is agreed to, don’t try to negotiate it further. Relationships do better when wedding planning is contained to specific times.
2. Set Your Budget And Do Not Waiver
The average cost of a reception and wedding ceremony is about $28,385, according to The Knot. Of course, that information can play a tremendous role in how you feel about your wedding. $28,385 is a lot of money. It is a down payment on a house, it is a brand new car, it could be used for a lot of things. Do not let what the internet says you should be spending on your wedding affect how much you spend on your wedding.
Meet with your partner and set a realistic budget, then stick to it, and do not let anyone persuade you in a different direction. Relationships are unique as are budgets, you do not need to keep up with the “joneses” to have a great wedding. What you do need to do is to stay on track with your budget. Financial problems are cited as the number three reasons why people divorce. According to various experts, about 40% to 50% of people married this year will be divorced down the road. Many of those relationships fail because of financial stress. Start out on the right foot, agree to a budget and stick to that budget.
3. Decide On What is a Must Have for You Both
There are some things that each of you agrees you must have at your wedding. There will be other things that each of you feels strongly about, compromise on those things. For example, you get to pick two things that you feel you must have, and your partner gets to pick two things they feel they must have. Relationships, where each partner considers the other’s feelings and will compromise, are stronger relationships.
You may have to give up the custom-screen printed t-shirts you want to stick in your guest’s gift bags. It is okay. The custom screen printing industry, according to IBIS Worlds, is projected to rake in about $7.8 billion in revenue in 2022, so they can live without your $1000. The point is to be willing to give up a few things to get the things that really matter to you.
4. Avoiding Arguments Over the Guest List
Relationships can become fragile during wedding planning, and feelings can get really hurt, especially over the guest list. Saving money by curating a guest list that is smallish in size is one of the easiest ways (yet most difficult) to save money. One of the ways to avoid issues is to figure out a head count that you can afford comfortably, then divide that headcount by two. Each partner gets X amounts of guests to invite. You and your partner do not get to criticize the other’s guest list. If your partner wants to invite their 5th-grade teacher they have not seen since 5th grade, that is their choice. Respect each other’s guest list.
There are plenty of ways to have a wedding with a small budget. Working together with your partner and setting up clear boundaries from the beginning of your planning saves relationships. Follow these tips for your wedding planning and you will be fine.